Other Possibilities
by Googie
Summary: Post 6X03, "Need to Know". What happened after the "You're fired" at the end of the show?


_**This is post 6X03, "Need to Know". What happens right after the "Your fired" comment at the end of the show? **_

_**Disclaimer: I own none of the characters.**_

* * *

Kate looked at Castle after Rachel left, absolutely dumbfounded.

Castle looked at Kate, for once not knowing what to say. Oh sure, he knew what he wanted to say, but he didn't think he actually _should_ say it.

She was still standing in the same place, and her mouth was still dropped open just a bit, displaying the stunned disbelief that she felt. She was _fired_. She'd done the right thing—dammit, she _knew_ she'd done the right thing because how could tricking an innocent, grieving woman possibly be right? —but they were firing her for it?

Fired.

She carded her fingers through her hair and turned around, walking to the window. Fired. She'd jus t been fired.

Castle let her have some quiet moments while she was very obviously processing this new change in her employment status. He didn't say anything, no, but he did walk up behind her and put his hands on her shoulders as she stared out the window. He wasn't going to say anything, not quite yet, but he wanted her to know that he was there.

Finally, after quite a few long moments, she was the one who spoke. "They fired me. Can you believe it? Me. I've never been fired from anything." Then, somewhat sarcastically but truthfully she added, "Well, until now, that is."

He squeezed her shoulders in a comforting gesture, but still fell back on his trademark humor. "Really? Beckett, how can you _not_ get fired from something? That's...Unamerican. That's like a rite of passage ... getting fired from a job."

"Yeah, well now I guess I'm in the clear for that," she told him. "God, this is embarrassing."

That comment caused Castle to look down at her strangely before stepping around so he was in front of her. "Embarrassing? Why?"

She looked up at him, her eyes showing how uncomfortable she was, how stunned she still felt.

"Are you serious?"

Of all of the possible responses, that wasn't the one he expected. "Huh?" was all he could manage.

She looked at him for a long moment, as if trying to figure out if he was trying to make an ill-timed joke or something, before she relented and explained, "Castle, you've put me on this pedestal since we met. And then I got this dream job and you were nothing but supportive even though I handled it so badly in the beginning. Then tonight you tell me that you even got us an apartment in DC. You did all of that for me. You wrote books about me and my job. You stuck with me all this time. But I just got _fired_, Castle. Right in front of you. No more dream job, and now you're wasting money on an apartment in DC too. If that's not embarrassing, I don't know what is." She dropped her eyes and shook her head. "Not much to sit on that pedestal now, is there?" she finished with sarcasm and a hint of self-pity in her voice.

He bent down to look at her downturned face, but then gently tilted her chin up so she was forced to meet his gaze. "What...are you...do you think I'd be _disappointed_ in you?"

She didn't say anything, but just gave him an expression like a facial shrug.

"Seriously? Kate, there's ...really?" He asked again, not quite wanting to believe what he thought he was hearing. He grabbed her shoulders and looked right into her eyes. "I _love_ you, Kate. You. Not, Agent Beckett, or Detective Beckett. I mean, I love those too, because they're an extension of you, but they're not the sum total of who you are. Even without being either one of those alter-egos, you'd still be you; you _will_ still be you, and I'll still love you. And that pedestal? It still has a whole lot on it. It's pretty tall, you know."

She looked at him quizzically. "I got _fired_, Castle." Her tone sounded like she was trying to explain a difficult concept to a five-year-old.

"Yeah. I got that," he said nonchalantly. Then his eyes got big before a big smile overtook his face and he snapped his fingers together. "Hey, since you got fired, that means that you don't have to catch that 8 a.m. flight tomorrow! We can sleep in!" His voice lowered. "Or we could ... maybe ... do ... other things in lieu of sleeping in?" His gaze was now suggestive and roguish as he voiced the potential benefits of her not having to take that flight.

She pulled back and her mouth dropped open a bit in surprise before she swatted him on the arm. "Are you _actually_ getting excited because I just got fired?"

"Well, sure ... if life hands you lemons, make lemonade, right?"

She rolled her eyes. "Castle, I just got _fired_," she reminded him.

"Yeah, I get that, mainly because you keep repeating it, not to mention that I was right there when McCord told you. I'm just not sure why you keep reminding me. I might be slightly older than you, Kate, but I'm not in any danger of going senile yet."

She let out an exasperated sigh, torn between her desire for his ability to keep things light and her need for him to be serious. "Castle ..."

Before she could continue, he stepped forward and put his arms around her. "I know," he said quietly, talking softly into her hair. "I know you're reeling right now. I know you're questioning your identity ... pretty much everything you ever thought about yourself and your mission ever since your mom died. I know that. I get it, Kate."

They stood for a few more silent seconds before he continued. "I'm not trying to be dense. You know me ... I just try to lighten the situation if I can. But I also know that you can't make any rational decisions right now. You've just had a shock. You need some time to adjust."

She just breathed deeply, her face buried in his shirt. Where did she go from here? What was she supposed to do? And she finally voiced that last thought to her fiance. "How do I adjust, Castle? What am I supposed to do now?"

He pulled back. "Anything you want." His voice was resolute.

"I _wanted_ to be a federal agent. But that didn't work out so well, did it?"

"I know you wanted to do that, but ... okay. I'm going to ask you a hard question, one that's been going around in my head ever since DC." He pulled back so he was looking her in the face. "I know you worked hard for that job, and I don't think they could find anyone better. But, Kate ... did you really, actually _like_ being a federal agent?"

She looked at him in silence for a moment as the question hung in the air. He watched her brow furrow a bit, and then he saw the point—he _knew_ it would come eventually—when she slipped on her mask. It was her defense mechanism, he knew, but he could see past it. So he let her get it out.

"Castle, we're working on the biggest cases that involve national security, and there's so much intel and technology at our disposal!" She tried to inject some excitement into her voice, and he didn't even think she knew she'd used the present tense, as if she was still with the AG's office.

But he just continued to look at her, as if he was waiting for her to say more. When she didn't, and she started looking at him quizzically, he knew the time had come for him to make his point, to point out the obvious thing that he pretty much knew, but that she wouldn't want to acknowledge.

"That's it?" he asked. "That's all you have to say? Intel and technology? Seriously? You sound like a federal task force recruiting brochure." Now, it was time. He lowered his voice and became deadly serious. "Kate, that's not you, and you know it. I know it. You don't care about intel and technology, unless they can help you catch your killers faster."

"But we can —"

"Yes, you can, but did you? Did you actually catch your killers with all of those wonderful tools?" He let that question sit out there for several seconds, because they both knew what the answer was. "And do you know what else? You never really told me you liked it. Because you can't honestly let those words come out of your mouth, can you?" He pulled her back into a hug. "It's okay, you know. It's just me," he whispered into her hair. "You can tell me."

After several long seconds, she whispered into his shirt, "Okay, fine. I ... there were parts of the job that took longer to get used to ..."

Castle pulled back again and looked at her. "Kate ..." he prompted, with a knowing look on his face.

He watched her purse her lips and evaluate, her eyes a mix of warring emotions. He simply raised his eyebrows in response. And then all of a sudden, the dam broke. Or, perhaps more accurately, it exploded.

She ran her hands through her hair as she stormed around the loft. "How do you do this? Okay, fine," she said, turning around to him. "I didn't like it. There. Happy now?" She paused for a moment as she continued storming around the room, but when she continued, her voice was no less forceful. Angry, even. "I wanted to like it. I should have liked it. I _tried_ to like it. I thought it was just missing you and being in a new city. Something always coming up so we had to cancel our plans together. I was the new kid. Nobody even goes out for drinks, and then the one time they do, I'm going away. But then I never even got to go away."

"And jelly. Ugh. I don't want to see jelly again for a long time. And when i do, it had damn well better not be on my shirt." Castle had no idea what that was about, but she was at least opening up, so he just let her rant and ramble. "But how could they not care if we catch the killer? We're supposed to be making a difference, even a bigger difference because we're federal. They can lie, and withhold information, and send us on wild goose chase and almost get innocent people killed and we can't do anything because they have a certain _title? _This is supposed to be a government for the people. So when those people get killed, how can we _not_ bring them justice? Huh? So how can we _not_ arrest the killers? How are we supposed to just sit back and accept the 'pause the investigation' directives that come down from people who never even see the human beings that are involved?"

She turned from where she was stomping around the room. "And that's the thing, Castle. You supposedly have to be so good, so smart, so talented to be an agent. Yet what good does it do? You almost died as collateral damage. Sure, we got the antidote, but that's it. In the end, it really only mattered to me and you. It all started with Reed and what he did, but he won't be punished."

Slowly, having gotten that out, she walked back to him. When she reached him, she leaned her forehead on his chest. "I just wanted to be better. I wanted to see what more I could do. But it just doesn't matter."

He raised his hands to rub her upper arms. "You did do more," he told her softly. "And you _are_ better. You're better than they are, because you see the big picture for everyone, not just the narrow directive that they see."

She looked up at him. "But they fired me, Castle. I can't be 'more' now."

"You can be more. You _are_ more. To me."

She reached up and touched his face. Oh, how she loved him. "I know. And I love you for what you're trying to do. But ... you know what I mean."

He sighed. "Yes, I know. Part of your identity, a big part, is tied up in you being a cop. Or more recently an agent, but now that's all gone. Like I said, I get it. But you know, even if you have to find your way again, you don't have to do it alone."

"I know."

"You can do other things. _Lots_ of other things," he said with a gleam in his eye.

And just then, the gleam in his eye and the way he said his last words struck her, for some reason, as hilarious. Her mouth dropped open for a split second as the innuendo began to spin in her head, and then she started laughing. Just laughing. "Castle," she said between spurts of laughter, "that is NOT helping!"

He was more than amused at the sight of her laughter, especially because of the direction that her thoughts were taking her. They were always so in sync, and he knew that she would pick up on his veiled innuendo.

"What?" he asked innocently.

She reached out and whacked him in the arm. "Ow!" he exclaimed, rubbing his arm. "That's what I get for giving you a compliment and showing my faith in your abilities? You _abuse _me? "

She glared at him. "You know what that was for. And yes, I know I have _many_ talents. However, not all of those extend to the realm of a _job_, at least not legally. And I would sincerely hope that you wouldn't be suggesting that I..." she trailed off, letting the further innuendo speak for itself as she gave him a stern look.

He immediately got the extended meaning fostered by his first, innocent (or not so innocent) burst of innuendo. And then he began to backpedal. Quickly. "No, I didn't mean...only for you and me...no...you and I... no...that's just..." He continued to shake his head and gave her a very visible shudder. "No," he emphasized.

Satisfied that he'd gotten the point, she decided to let him off the hook. "Good. Now just watch what you're saying, huh?" she scolded with mock censure, but he nodded seriously. So easy; she wanted to roll her eyes but didn't. Instead, she asked him, "But getting back to my actual job prospects ... God, Castle, what am I going to do?"

He stared at her for a moment, making sure that she wasn't still misinterpreting him. "Well," he said after some time, "I can think of something that would be great to do while you don't have a job. And you won't have to worry about getting a job either. I have enough money for both of us."

"Castle, I am _not_ going to live off you, like some concubine or something."

"Not what I'm suggesting at all," he countered, somewhat smugly. At her look of confusion, he continued, feeling like he finally had the upper hand to bring up something that had been on his mind for several weeks.

"Kate, we're engaged. Take a few months, and let's get married! Do the wedding thing. Spend hours finding the perfect dress. Plan our wedding, down to the most minute detail if you want. You can make this into as big of a deal as you want to. That's why the wedding planning business is so big."

She looked shell-shocked for a moment. "A ... wedding? Our wedding?" she asked.

He nodded, very self-assured. "We _are_ getting married, right?"

That wasn't what she'd expected him to suggest. "Well ... uh ... yeah. But ... no job? You're saying I shouldn't get a job? Castle, how am I going to pay my rent without a job?"

"Kate, think about it. If we get married, do you need to pay rent? No. You'll move in here. Hey, why don't we start moving you in tomorrow? After we sleep in, of course," he added with a touch of that suggestive tone he had when he'd brought it up earlier.

"Move in? Here? Tomorrow?" She realized that she probably sounded like a dolt.

He shrugged and said, "Sure, for starters," as if she'd asked him if he wanted a drink before dinner.

"Castle! I can't...it's not ... I was just fired, Castle! I have to ... " What? What did she have to do? She didn't have a job. "I ... wait. What do you mean, 'for starters'? Move in here ... tomorrow ...and then ... what?"

She watched with surprise as a hesitant look overtook his face. Her fiance was always so self-assured and open, especially now that they were engaged, that hesitancy and discomfort was not something she saw a lot from him. Her brows furrowed as she looked at him, and he swallowed before finding his words.

"Well, you know, with the job in DC, it took up a lot of your time. And I know you really wanted that break, and I was so proud of you for going after what you wanted. But, you know, other things suffered. We couldn't spend as much time together. We had to live apart, although I was trying to fix that with that apartment. But you know, I always thought ... well, some things had to change when you took that job. And I was okay with that, or I was getting there anyway. But now, with the job gone, it occurred to me that maybe some things don't have to change now. Maybe we can still ..." he trailed off, not saying anything else, and still looking unsure of himself.

But she still had no idea what he was getting at. And she was slightly worried, because it was rare for him to fumble around with his words like that, or to even look as uncomfortable as he did now. "Castle, what are you saying? Because I'm not really sure where you're trying to go with this."

"I ... uh ... okay, I kind of always thought that after we got married, we'd probably start a family. Or add onto the family. And then with the DC job, it became clear that that lifestyle doesn't really work with a family. And that was ... okay." His voice dipped so it sounded like it really wasn't 'okay', but he forged on. "So I put it out of my mind. But now ..."

Breathlessly, she asked after a few long moments, "You want us to have a baby?"

"Well, I ... uh ... yeah. I thought ...I know we never really talked about it a lot, but I'd just always thought that we'd eventually end up there. Well, until you got the job in DC. And then ... no. But now, with McCord showing up, and ... you know ... I guess it just popped into my mind again."

He was silent for just a moment, as if waiting for her to speak, but it seemed as though the silence was too much for him because he hurried on. "So when you started wondering about what you could do, it just hit me all of a sudden that we could really do this now, you know? The job isn't an issue anymore. And we could do this! What better time would there be? You wouldn't have to worry about desk duty, and you wouldn't have to take off work. You could move in here and relax and plan the perfect wedding, and then you could start a new job. Title: mom."

She was still standing there, shocked, staring at him. He was still looking supremely uncomfortable, almost as if he expected her to bolt any second.

"A wedding ..." she tried out.

He nodded. "For starters. Anything you want. We could do something big at the Ritz, or we can fly to the Caribbean, or we could even get married in our jammies right here in the living room, just the two of us and the officiant. I don't care how. You decide. We're engaged anyway, so let's just finish it off. Make it official."

She gave a slow nod. "Okay. Anything I want. Got it." She took a few steps around the room, lost in thought. Then she turned back toward him and asked hesitantly, "And then ... a baby?"

He nodded again. "Yeah. So ...?"

"I ... uh ... you want more kids?"

"With you, yes," he told her without hesitation. "I told you that already. But what about you? You _have_ thought about having children, right?"

"Well, yes ... I always assumed I would. But it was always more of a distant, far-off thought. Nothing imminent. But now ..."

"The timing is great, you have to admit it."

"Well, I don't know about 'great', but you've certainly given me something to think about."

"So you're not saying no?" he asked, with a little more excitement in his voice. "You'll think about it ... getting married and having a baby?"

She shook her head. "No."

His face fell at her single, all of the budding excitement of the previous few seconds having evaporated into thin air.

She saw the instant disappointment and immediately walked the few steps to where he was still standing. Touching his arm, she said, "No, not that kind of no."

"Not no?" Then he had a flashback to his marriage proposal. "Kate, this is getting to be a disturbing trend with us. So just put me out of my misery and tell me what you're thinking, with more than three words, huh?"

"No, my no meant that no, that's not what I'm not going to think about it. I already said I'd marry you and I'm going to. We can even have a baby; one to start and then probably another one a few years after that." He looked cautiously surprised at the resolute tone of her voice. And as she said the words, she felt something inside of her, and was surprised at how right those sounded as they flowed out of her mouth. She'd never voiced that thought before, about having children with him, but she was rapidly warming to the idea with every passing second. She wasn't even concentrating on being fired anymore; now her mind was swirling with the possibilities that he wanted to give her, and give them. "The only thing I needed to think about," she continued, "was the timing. To listen to you tell it, you sound like you want to get married tomorrow and knock me up before the ink is dry on the marriage license."

He visibly relaxed, and then he told her with mock seriousness, "Well, that IS one option ..."

That comment earned him a whack on the arm from her. "Castle!"

"Kidding, kidding!" He grabbed her lightly around the waist and pulled her toward him. "We can do this, Kate. It'll be great." He gave her a little peck on her lips.

"I think you might be right," she said with a little smile, leaning into him for another kiss.

"Of course I am."

"What if I get bored without a job?"

"Kate, I could take offense to that, you know. We have been talking about you finally, _officially_ moving in, and presumably you're going to be spending a lot of time with me. And you're worried about being bored? Are you saying I'm boring?"

She just rolled her eyes at him.

"Okay, fine. But I do have one question."

"What?"

"You're okay with all of this, and I couldn't be happier. But I was thinking ..."

"Out with it, Castle," she ordered.

"Do we actually have to get married first before we start working on the baby? Because, you know, I'm willing to work _very_ hard to make that happen."

She raised one eyebrow seductively at him as she turned and sauntered toward the bedroom.

He watched her go, mumbling to himself, "I'll take that as a 'no'," as he began to follow her.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o

Three months later, they were married in a small ceremony with their closest friends, followed by a slightly larger reception and a two week honeymoon in Italy.

And they did, in fact, work on the baby part of it before they got married. Because seven months after their wedding, they welcomed their first child, a baby boy they named Ian Nicholas. His first name was after the author of the James Bond novels that Castle loved as a child, the very books of which he turned down the opportunity to write all those years ago, when he received his first multi-book order for the Nikki Heat series. And the Nicholas was, of course, for Nikki Heat, the fictional character that provided the excuse for them to work together until they found a way to build a life with each other.

* * *

_I started working on this right after Need to Know, but only just finished it now. I always wished they would have explored a bit more of her reaction and what happened right after she was fired. _

_Hope you enjoyed it!_

_(And if anyone is wondering, I have not abandoned my other in-progress stories, even though I know I haven't updated them in a long time. The creative juices just don't flow very quickly anymore. But I do still intend to write more of them, and I even have a couple of partial chapters written that I'll post when I get enough done for a chapter.)_


End file.
